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I'm
So, I get crabby around Christmas. Known fact which I quickly admit to. My spouse, does not. In fact, he doesn't get crabby over anything. It makes me a little sick. Last night our son woke up at 12:30 and was crying. My hubby always goes to him if he wakes up at night, which is very, very rare. He's teething, which is an ever living nightmare. So I hear through the monitor baby boy crying and crying. My first instinct is that he needs some Motrin, possibly a diaper change, and a warm bottle to help comfort him back to sleep. Seems pretty simple, right? I listen for a good hour to my baby crying then stopping. Crying then stopping. Finally at 1:30 I could not take it anymore and went flying in there. He was sitting on hubbys lap just looking around the room. His little eyes were swollen. I yelled, with the key word being yelled, "what the fuck are you doing? Can you not clearly see he is in discomfort and needs Motrin? (my husband likes to call it Midol as he screws up words all of the time and thinks that's what it's called) Hubby said "I was trying to get him to go back to sleep and am doing the best I can". I storm downstairs, make the bottle, get some medicine, and then give it to the baby. Hubby says to me, "I don't appreciate the way you just talked to me. In fact, I would never talk to you like that. I am doing the best I can and feel it would be more productive if you would of simply come in the room and asked if I wanted you to make a bottle and get some medicine". Wrong thing to say at 1:30 in the morning. I reply with, "I think it would be more productive if you paid attention to what the baby needs and do something about it instead of letting him cry for an hour". His response? "I think it would be more productive if you checked your attitude at the door the next time you want to help in the middle of the night". Oh boy. OH BOY. I didn't say anything. Sure as shit, the baby takes the medicine, drinks his bottle, and goes to sleep for the rest of the night. Clearly I was right. I know he was right too with the whole attitude comment, but there is no way I was going to respond to it. I don't know why I am like this sometimes. I don't have a calm bone in my body. Type A all the way. His way of handling it will be to believe I heard and understood what he said and remember it next time. My way of handling it will be to not call him all day to "teach him a lesson". More and more I think I am like my dad. The side of him that I hated my whole life. The only way to break the cycle is for me to step up and not over-react. If I don't, baby boy will grow up thinking it's the way to handle things, just as I did. My father used fear to get us to do what he wanted. The fear of him lashing out and yelling at us. I am doing the same thing, which makes me want to get sick. What a vicious cycle.
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