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I'm
Lots has been going on. Some good, some bad. My mom found a lump in her breast about a month ago. She had a mammogram, needle biopsy, and an ultrasound performed. All came back fine. As a safety precaution, they removed the lump to test it. 1% chance it would be breast cancer. It was. The type of cancer she has doesn't show up on a mammogram. She had the tumor, along with her breast removed a couple weeks ago. The tumor had been growing for two years they are estimating. Thankfully it didn't spread. She should be fine. While we were at the hospital waiting for her to come out of surgery, we went to the cafeteria. I was standing in line and turned around only to be face to face with my ex-husband. He looked like total shit, which made my day a bit brighter. Acne EVERY WHERE. I told him about my mom and he looked so sad. He wouldn't look me in the eye. My dad even asked what the hell he was so nervous about. He did say her doctor was one of the best, so for once in his life he was of some use. I don't know if I ever mentioned this before, but I am a massive hypochondriac. I am talking in the worst way. The examples I have are endless, but here are few. I once found a lump on my head. I was immediately positive it was a brain tumor. I went in to see the doctor and it is just the shape of my skull. I don't know why I never noticed it before. Another- I had a shooting pain across my back one Sunday. I was sure I was having a heart attack and called my doctors exchange. Turned out to be a pulled muscle. Another- I felt a lump on my chest below my breasts, almost in the middle. I pushed it and pushed it, trying to figure out if it was a tumor or a cyst, or what the heck it was. I went in to see my doctor- it is a touch of arthritis in my breast bone. I don't know why I didn't believe him, so I kept pushing it and trying to see if it was getting bigger. I then went back to the doctor and his first words were "JustAGal, what have you done"? I made it so much worse by pushing on it. He said to leave it alone. Of course that was in March and I am still not so sure of his diagnosis. The list goes on and on. But now I am sure I have breast cancer. I went to see my doctor, who did a breast exam. It was fine. Last week I went to my OBGYN to have a pap smear, he also did a breast exam and said it was fine. Today I went to see my mom's doctor at the breast care center who did yet another breast exam, which was fine, and sent me down for a mammogram. First, let me start off by saying anyone in the United States of America who says a Mammogram doesn't hurt is a liar. One giant, fucking, asshole of the Earth liar. Talk about pain. I was ready to punch myself in the face to ease the discomfort when my right breast was being smashed like a damn potato. I will get the results tomorrow. Because my mothers cancer doesn't show up in a mammogram, I am also getting a MRI in two weeks. Maybe then I will feel better. I hope so. Besides my mental state of mind, and the scare with my mom, everything else is beautiful. Our son is now 22 months old. My hubby is the best thing ever. He ever puts up with my insanity and never complains. In fact, he laughs about it, which only makes me feel like he needs to be slapped. That's it with me. How about you?
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